The wedding industry can be a tough one to work in. When you try new things or have your own opinions that may not fit in with the mainstream crowd (Grooms are important! You can look like yourself in your images!), you can feel very alone. About a year ago, I started hearing about a photography workshop in California for creatives who believe in authenticity and openness. While I love to travel and explore, doing so for 5 days without my friends or family around (especially without my husband Matt!) was terrifying and took me well outside of my comfort zone, something I was actually excited to experience. I love meeting new people and connecting on levels beyond our names, locations and jobs which is one of the reasons why I love photographing people so much.
I arrived at El Capitan Canyon, right outside of Santa Barbara, California, nervous but ready for the week. Over 4 days I attended every class + panel I could, listening to anecdotes and personal advice from some of the photographers whose work I’ve admired for years. I felt inspired and full of new ideas. Here’s the thing though, I hated it. I never found the connections I was seeking out. Things never felt like they got deeper than names and locations. It was difficult to be an outsider at a place where it felt like everyone already knew one another, whether it be from different conferences or even through networking online. When it came time for the big climax of the week, a huge dance party, I opted to stay in and relax. If I mentioned this to others it seemed like that decision might be the end of me, to the point where I began to lie and say I’d be there heading there later on in the night.
It wasn’t until the last day, on a solo hike to find llamas (after the big group photo in which I stood by myself), that I found out I wasn’t alone in my experience. I ran into a wonderful married couple on my walk and confided in them that I skipped the party. They were thrilled, they had felt so alone in their decision to skip the party that they stayed in their tent all night. I wasn’t actually alone in my feelings. They, too, felt that while the classes were great they felt like outsiders on the edge of the room. We connected on that level and I finally felt relieved.
I’ve always been a person who believes in staying true to my beliefs, supporting myself and filling my life with friends who I can build deep, personal connections with. Field Trip confirmed those feelings and made me confident in my decisions. It inspired me creatively to keep pushing myself forward but made me know that yes, I need those deep connections in my life. I’m so happy I went because it made me even happier to be home.
